Greetings from your bitter correspondent

Most of the time, I blog to be an asshole.

I admit I don’t want to run a blog at this time because I no longer want to be an asshole. Or said better, I have better things to do at the moment than be an asshole. And that’s a lot to do, because I enjoyed being an asshole.

But I write books now — murder mysteries, to be precise. I enjoy the creative process. It beats covering news, which I did for too long. I’m not sure it beats stand-up comedy, which I also did for too long.

For a spell, I combined the two — writing and comedy — with blogs. There’s no need to mention those blogs now, because I don’t run them anymore. But man, it was fun making enemies coast to coast.

Novels, though, are a grueling creative process. Martin Cruz Smith spent eight years writing “Gorky Park,” a groundbreaking tome. I haven’t taken that long for my novels, of course. I have a short attention s… Hey, boobies over there!

Anyway, I had no desire to blog. I have a desire to sell novels.

Only every agent I’ve spoken with has told me the same thing. “You need to increase your social media presence.” And then they said, “Nice hat.”

Social media presence means Facebook, Twitter, maybe even MySpace, and yes, blogging.

So I’m here to pitch books in between random rants.

Soon, I’ll be including samples of books I will have available for purchase on your iPad, Kindle, Nook, etc. They’ll probably sell for $5. I don’t want to bankrupt any of you guys.

Anyway, thanks for checking out my blog. I promise to do my best to avoid talking about Donald Trump. And in conclusion, boobies.

Boobies.