I finally found something I honestly like about Hillary Clinton

On June 8, the Democratic Party faithful got to take a long overdue victory half-lap when former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton earned the party’s presidential nomination with primary victories in a handful of states, including my home state of California.

This column, by the way, is not a troll.

They should get to spike the footba… Too masculine? They should get to chest bum… Oh, sexually harassing? Um, they should go to Barnes & Noble and read some Anne Waldman to celebrate.

If her followers want to toast themselves and talk about landmark moments in the country’s history, go ahead. And if pundits want to blather about how the general election is all a done deal, I can kind of live with that — even though I know that’s absurd.

Except for one pile of lunacy written by Vox editor Ezra Klein, which I don’t even have to read because the headline makes everything after it ludicrous on its face. Opines Klein: “It’s time to admit Hillary Clinton is an extraordinarily talented politician.”

When I was satisfied that I had shaken my head long enough for a minor concussion, it behooves me to let you all know that we should be overjoyed by how wrong Klein is. Because Hillary Clinton’s most endearing trait is that she is a shitty politician.

To repeat, not trolling.

The press loves to call particular beltway types “great politicians” as if it’s flattering, when it should be an insult on the level of talking about your mom or a racial slur. Politicians are miserable, craven, disgusting, narcissistic, duplicitous, odiferous piles of megalomania concentrated in a steaming pile of excrement and stuffed in a fancy suit. Why would being called an extraordinary one be seen as a compliment?

Ask yourself, do you trust “the office politician” where you work? Do you enjoy engaging in “office politics”? Go to any dictionary and look up “politician.” The first definition is straightforward, someone seeking public office. Every definition after that includes words such as “manipulative” and “devious.” Here’s a definition of politician I found: “Politics” is derived from the words “poly” meaning “many,” and “tics” meaning “blood-sucking parasites.”

Hillary’s husband was often called an extraordinary politician and his smarmy ass got impeached. Why did he stay in the White House? Because he is an extraordinary politician.

If Hillary Clinton were, in fact, an amazing politician, she never would have lost to a highly inexperienced Sen. Barack Obama in 2007. If she were an extraordinary politician, she would have never had to battle a frumpy socialist who believes most women have rape fantasies until June 7.

No, Hillary Clinton is a lousy politician. We should be happy she is. And if she does beat down you-know-who in the fall, we’re going to be better off for every idiotic thing that she says and does.

Because those mistakes will lead us to describe Hillary as something she doesn’t get called often.


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